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So You Have Decided To Down-Size, What Now?
By Anna Dos Santos
(C)
Downsizing to life-size not only revolutionizes
our lives, it brings about an irreversible evolution.
The fact is, once you have downsized, your circumstances,
your lifestyle, the way you used to live, will
never be the same again. Yes, it brings about
important changes that will impact our lives forever.
Normally Down-sizing is part of the passage that
leads to one of the most significant seasons of
growth in peoples' personal lives. This is the
period when our children have grown up, we are
grateful for our health and have settled with
a life partner. It is a time of emotional, spiritual
and financial stability. When, thank goodness,
we don't have to climb and prove ourselves on
the corporate ladder any more. Down-sizing, also
known as Life-sizing happens during this season
when we want to hold onto what is important and
dear in life.
Down-sizing juxtaposes stagnation
Down-sizing initiates a life revolution. Changes
that inherently evolutionize our lives will bring
about significant transitional challenges. - Most
of the time these transitions do not come without
disturbing turbulences in our, prior to that,
relatively calm and peaceful lives.
" Not in his goals but in his
transitions man is great."
How we handle and deal with change in our lives,
determines how we will experience down-sizing.
Remember, change is situational, but transition
is the process that takes place in our psyche
during the change that occurs. Transitions happen
when we dialogue with ourselves and other people
about the changes that happen with and around
us. During times of transitions we learn to re-define
and re-orientate ourselves to incorporate the
changes that are taking place in and around us.
How we adapt to these changes determines the outcome
of the process. - " Not in his goals but in his
transitions man is great." Ralph Waldo Emerson.
We encounter change every single day of our lives.
Change is unavoidable; it is part of the rhythm
of life. In order to be fulfilled with life changes
and the challenges that it poses, we need to listen
to its rhythm, learn to interpret it, and ride
the Change-wave.
In the past decade or so, Life-in-transition
coaches have emerged to assist the 'Boomer generation
in their efforts to utilize the downsizing season
to the fullest.
What is a Life-in-transition
coach?
A Life-in-transition coach is a trained, caring
professional who is able to work with individuals
and groups on a very specialized level. These
coaches work from their hearts, demonstrating
with their lives, their growth, and through their
range of emotion and depth of experience, the
effective use of the skills that they offer to
their clients.
What is Life-in-transition
coaching?
Life-in-transition coaching is a journey where
you embark on and in partnership with a coach
to bring into focus an area of your life, or changes
that causes you to give attention to, in order
to reach your full potential trough the transition.
This journey will involve self-discovery to help
you turn your desires into reality.
A Life Coach enters into this distinct process
of supporting you to create a preferred life
story, one chapter at a time. Coaching is normally
situational. - Coaches are hired during important
events, like downsizing, before or during a career
change, in the work place, with and during relational
changes, lifestyle changes and events, or during
and when emotional, spiritual or physical changes
occur. Transition coaches are hired when a person
desires for a quality transition. These transitions
can happen if and when a significant change happens
at home, in relationships, or in any other sphere
of your life.
In addition to being a personal supporter, your
coach is a sounding board, a collaborator during
the change that leads to transition; an accountability
partner, a strategist, a person who helps you
to brainstorm and move creatively through the
change into the new phase of your life. A life-in-transition
coach has a commitment to you to regularly monitor
and assist your preferred reality and mirror it
in view of the situation where you find yourself
in.
The Coaching journey involves interaction
between you and your coach, with the aim to
help you maintain a fulfilling life. The process
involves helping you establish what is important
to you, by clarifying your values. Together you
and your coach create value-based goals and a
plan to achieve them.
Throughout the coaching journey, your
coach will encourage and empower you through the
barriers that might manifest, and celebrate with
you through the successful milestones, until you
reach your goal.
To transcend from one life
stage to another acquires life skills
During the transitioning journey one will occasionally
encounter obstacles, -some issue that seems impossible
to overcome. This may be due to a shift in perspective,
or lack of resources, or lack of knowledge on
your part. In some cases your coach may need to
introduce you to a new life skill to overcome
the obstacle. - The requirement of a new life
skill is a creative approach towards a solution,
but it is not the purpose of the coaching journey.
Is Life Coaching and Counselling
or Therapy the same thing?
In counseling the issues considered are
usually events that have happened in the past,
and have an ongoing affect in your life preventing
you from living with emotional wellness. The focus
of these sessions is on feelings and experience
related to understanding how the past is hindering
you in the present from living a balanced life.
The object of the sessions is to fix what is broken.
Coaching on the other hand, focuses on
helping you understand your present reality (the
change/ transition, the now space) determines
where you want to be in the near and distant future,
and develops a strategy to get you there to increase
the quality of your life. During the coaching
journey, issues may arise that stem from past
wounds, hurts, failures. If these distresses form
a wall, preventing you from moving forward during
the transition period, you and your coach will
strategize towards a creative solution, which
might include therapy or other professional help.
Is Life-in-transition coaching
the same as Consulting?
A Consultant is the expert in the field,
hired to give recommendations and provide solutions
to a problem in that field. The consultant is
the authority and has walked the path you want
to explore. Usually such a relationship is short
term and focused on passing on advice and knowledge.
In a coaching relationship your coach helps you
to discover and maximize the very best of your
own expertise. Through partnering with you, an
action plan is devised that will achieve the solutions
for a better future when the transition has been
completed. The Coach journeys through it with
you, as you implement the plan to completion and
attain the desired results. Coaching is not short
term and varies in time, from three months onwards
and up to a year or two.
Is Life coaching the same
as Mentoring?
Mentoring involves a relationship usually
with an older and more experienced person in a
particular field. The purpose of the relationship
is for the student to gain knowledge and wisdom
from the mentor's experiences in his/her field
of expertise. - The student learns the 'how',
'why' and the 'what' from the mentor's paradigm
of knowledge in a particular field.
Life-in-transition coaching, however, is a
partnership where your coach supports you
in drawing on your own wisdom and listening to
your instincts to design the preferred outcomes
you want for yourself. You are the author of your
life story, but you need to cross a bridge and
you want to go the distance with a co-pilgrim
for ease and effectiveness. Your coach may, from
time to time, share some advice and insights with
you. More often it will be a session of collaboration
where you will be questioned to help you to creatively
unlock the solutions within you. These solutions
may be blocked by how you perceive a life phase
to be and how you interpret change during a particular
situation.
A coaching model used during
the life-in-transition phase
Metaphors are often used to make sense of life.
Trained as a narrative therapist, who is now a
Life-in-transition coach, I see life as a story,
complete, yet in the process of completion. We
are the authors of our own life stories. Our life
view, the influences of the input of people, circumstances,
choices and experiences, all impact the outcome
of each chapter of our story. During the event
of Life-sizing one invites a life-in-transition
coach to assist in the collaboration of this phase
of his or her life story. - That is because they
desire positive, creative and original outcomes
of the change at hand.
Dedicated collaboration is necessary and imperative
during any phase of change in a person's life.
It is also important that we are well informed
and equipped to deal with the challenges of the
changes that life-sizing inevitably leads to.
Creative strategizing and participation from
both the client and coach during the Life-sizing
event will assist towards the fulfillment of a
life well spend.
The coaching process
Like all coaching, Life-in-transition coaching
does not happen in a haphazard way. Yes, even
though every individual change and transition
in our lives has a rhythm and an intensity of
its own, coaching to facilitate this process does
not happen randomly. It is always individualized,
creative, planned, structured and outcomes based.
The coaching process has a purpose. It remains
focused and is directed by the clients' values,
and lines up with their' preferred brain preference
profile.
Coaching sessions
Most coaching sessions will develop as follows:
Intervention and interaction - this involves
becoming informed and clear on your present state
or desire. Reviewing the past and bringing each
other up to speed and into the present in terms
of what has happened over the course initially
of the past few weeks or months, and then eventually
the week, with relationship towards the goal of
wellness during and after the current transition
phase.
Creative discoveries and insights gained
- Through collaboration and discourse deconstruction
new life discoveries are made. This might involve
principles from a client's past experiences that
may apply to the transition period. We will evaluate
the present situation, investigate and apply personal
values, brain profile preferences , standards,
boundaries, judgments, and do a reality check.
Each client's Plumb-line for life needs to be
discovered in order to determine the process of
change, it outcomes and goals.
Strategizing - The coach uses the wisdom
found, and the knowledge that the client has gleaned
through the process, to look at the need of possible
resources for further development. The client
gathers feedback and insight from coach's reflections.
In collaboration they decide on a creative action
plan, strategies and create structures for success
for the client.
Inspirational - reflect on the benefits
of the change, realize the new possibilities now
revealed, acknowledge the growth, celebrate the
milestones, and glean from life lessons for future
successes.
Implementation - Collaborate on a clearly
defined action plan for the season/time ahead.
Closing and setting of appointment for
next session.
The coaching process
The general pattern of a regular coaching journey
normally emerges with three different phases:
The Discovery and Intervention phase.
Like every life story that develops, the beginning
or intro chapters of life-in-transition sessions
are times of discovery. Through active listening
and intensive questioning the coach learns about
the main characters in the client's life, discover
the scene, the hidden dreams, and the discomfort
of the present change. We look at the history
behind the change. The client elaborates on where
he or she comes from and where they're heading.
During this time there is an assessment of the
client's individual brain preference profile ,
which will be discussed and looked at in light
of its implications during change and transition.
The middle phase
The body of the sessions goes around deconstruction
and re-evaluation of the dreams and goals that
gave wings to the decision to change, new directions
to take and endeavours to engage in. It can include:
plans for the future, creative and strategic planning
and implementation around relationships, extended
relationships, spirituality, longevity, wellness
and physical health, current state of affairs,
finances, care giving and dependants, relaxing,
networking, the new lifestyle, retirement options,
replacement of work functions, holidays, hobbies,
cultural involvement, time management, freedom
and leisure interests.
Closing
Like all coaching, life-in-transition coaching
and strategizing must end sometime. The coaching
season depends on the nature of each change that
the client encounters, the client's experience
of it, the client's own temperament and the transitional
nature of the change that has happened. Normally,
due to the regular evaluation of the process,
the client and the coach knows when it is time
to finalize the sessions. Follow-up sessions are
scheduled on an annual basis.
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